I spend a lot of time sitting in my bed. It is less than a year ago, but still I'm in it a lot. It gives me time to reflect. They say introspective is good. Not sure I agree with that. It tends to get me in trouble. The more I think the further I slip into self pity. I've never been a big fan of pity. I don't feel sorry for myself, most of the time. I suppose I could. I don't know many 37 year olds that have a below the knee amputation, brain tumor, bone problems, fibromyalgia, and PTSD. I'm sure there are people who are worse of than me, but last I checked it isn't a competition.
This is one of those nights that I wonder why me? I wonder whose idea it was to make this part of my path. I just hate that I have to put my leg on to walk. I want to just get out of bed and go to the bathroom. Not possible. I have to either hop into my wheelchair or take the time to put my leg on. It does suck. I wish I had someone to talk to that understood. UGH.
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